Helping Christians Choose Wisely, Spot Red Flags Early, and Build Healthy, Godly Relationships

I help Christian singles develop discernment and choose relationships that lead to healthy, lasting families.

Choose relationships that are healthy from the start, not ones you have to recover from later.

If you’ve ever felt confused, overlooked red flags, or questioned what a healthy relationship should look like…

You're not alone in this.And there's a reason for that.Many Christians are unintentionally taught to:1) ignore red flags
2) over-spiritualize compatibility
3) tolerate unhealthy behavior and call it “grace,” “submission,” or “faithfulness”My work helps you recognize unhealthy patterns early, trust your discernment, and build relationships rooted in truth, safety, and mutual respect.

A trusted guide to recognizing narcissistic and unhealthy patterns that many Christians miss

• A foundational guide to recognizing red flags in Christian relationships

• View Books on Amazon

Where I Come In

I help Christians recognize red flags early, avoid manipulation, and choose relationships rooted in biblical wisdom.
I equip churches, singles ministries, and Christian leaders to help people recognize manipulation, develop discernment, and build emotionally healthy relationships rooted in biblical wisdom.My teaching is especially helpful for:

How I Can Support

📘 START HERE: Read the books that have helped over 1400 readers worldwide rebuild boundaries and reclaim emotional clarity.🎙 Invite me to speak on your podcast, at your church, or conference🤝 Explore individual or group coaching focused on discernment and wise relationship decisions✍️ Access practical tools for building healthy relationships

Meet Brian Howard

I help Christians recognize unhealthy patterns early so they can choose wisely, avoid manipulation, and build relationships that actually reflect God’s design.This work began as a father’s desire to protect his daughters, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.I wanted them to recognize manipulation early, trust their discernment, and never confuse control for love, especially in Christian environments.What started as guidance for my own family grew into a calling to help others choose healthy relationships from the start.

• Read the Books
• Recovery Coaching
• Invite Brian to Speak
• Let's Connect
• The Gospel

📚 Books That Help You Recognize, Protect, and Heal

Whether you're trying to choose wisely before a relationship begins or recover from one that went wrong, you can learn to identify manipulation, spiritual abuse, and emotionally unsafe people.
Rediscover identity, peace, and security grounded in ChristThese books are especially helpful if you are:• Seeking Christian guidance for dating and marriage
• Trying to understand red flags and green flags
• Learning to set healthy, biblical boundaries without guilt
• Trying to understand how manipulation and gaslighting left you confused, blamed, or destabilizedMy hope is for you to see clearly, trust your discernment again, and rebuild relationships rooted in truth, safety, and mutual respect.

• 👉 Books and Resources

Spiritual abuse can be the most confusing type. The use of scripture. Righteous-sounding verbiage. Charm that masquerades as leadership or "anointing." All while quietly controlling, manipulating, and destabilizing those closest to them.This book helps you recognize the warning signs early, understand the tactics used by narcissists in Christian environments, and reclaim the clarity and confidence their manipulation stole from you.If you've ever felt confused, blamed, or spiritually shamed, then this book will expose their darkness so you can see the light again.

• On Amazon: The Christian Narcissist

Many Christians are taught to prioritize faith, but not how to recognize emotional health.This book helps you identify red flags early, recognize emotionally safe partners, and avoid relationships rooted in control, confusion, or instability.You'll learn how to discern the difference between partners who drain you and partners who genuinely support your peace, growth, and emotional safety.Healthy relaitonships are not confusing. They are clear, calm, and life-giving.

• On Amazon: Are You Ready to be Treated Better?

• Read all reviews on Amazon

Disclaimer:
The testimonials featured are excerpts from public Amazon reviews. Individual experiences may vary.

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🌿 Educational Coaching & Recovery Support

If you're struggling to make sense of a confusing, emotionally draining, or spiritually manipulative relationship, these sessions provide clarity, validation, and a path forward.

In addition to writing, I offer faith-based educational coaching sessions designed to help individuals and groups understand narcissistic abuse, rebuild healthy boundaries, and restore emotional clarity and confidence.These sessions help you:✔ Recognize narcissistic and emotionally manipulative behavior
✔ Develop healthy, biblical boundaries without guilt or confusion
✔ Break free from trauma bonding and emotional control
✔ Rebuild self-worth grounded in your identity and security in Christ
✔ Prepare for emotionally healthy, stable, and life-giving relationshipsThese sessions are educational, faith-based, and ministry-focused. They are not a substitute for licensed mental health counseling.

• 👉 Reach Out for Coaching

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🎤 Speaking, Workshops, and Church Training

Brian Howard is a Christian relationship speaker who equips churches, singles ministries, and individuals to recognize narcissistic manipulation, develop relational discernment, and build healthy boundaries.Popular Speaking Topics

1) The Christian Narcissist: Recognizing the Wolf in Sheep's (and Shepherd's) Clothing2) How to Recognize Red Flags and Green Flags in Christian Dating3) Why “Equally Yoked” Is Not Enough: Choosing a Healthy Partner Biblically4) Gaslighting and Spiritual Manipulation5) How healthy boundaries actually strengthen faith and relationships.6) 7 Red Flags Christians Ignore in Dating (Including Narcissistic Traits)7) Christian Dating Advice That Actually Prevents Heartbreak8) The Difference Between Chemistry, Compatibility, and Character

• 👉 Request Brian to Speak

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Totally Forgiven by God!

No matter how many good deeds we think will earn us a ticket into heaven, our deeds won't be enough. Only holy people can enter heaven, and God’s standard of holiness is perfection. We are all guilty of breaking God’s perfect Law.However, the good news is that Jesus paid our penalty and took our punishment. On the cross, He bore the wrath of God for my sin, your sin, and the sin of anyone who repents and believes that His sacrifice is sufficient to save them. Our faith in Jesus’ finished work saves us from God’s wrath. Because of Him, we can stand forgiven before God. Free from guilt and condemnation!God’s mercy not only forgives, but His grace promises that there will never be condemnation again. You are God’s fully forgiven child once and for all. You have eternal life, not just endless existence, but the very life of Christ Himself. Only one life is eternal, and that’s Jesus’. Therefore, you are grafted into the true Vine, the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. Into Jesus, the Tree of Life.In Him, we became new creations with new hearts and new desires for holiness. We can still choose to sin, but sin no longer has the power to rule us. Sin itself hasn’t died, but we died to sin. We were buried with Christ and raised to walk in newness of life. Dead to sin and alive to God!

SCRIPTURE - OUR SIN AND SEPARATIONRomans 3:23
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,Isaiah 59:2
But your wrongdoings have caused a separation between you and your God,
And your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.Matthew 5:48
Therefore you shall be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.James 2:10
For whoever keeps the whole Law, yet stumbles in one point, has become guilty of all.Romans 6:23a
For the wages of sin is death…

SCRIPTURE - CHRIST TOOK OUR PLACEIsaiah 53:5–6
But He was pierced for our offenses,
He was crushed for our wrongdoings;
The punishment for our well-being was laid upon Him,
And by His wounds we are healed.
All of us, like sheep, have gone astray,
Each of us has turned to his own way;
But the Lord has caused the wrongdoing of us all
To fall on Him.Romans 5:8–9
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.1 Peter 2:24
and He Himself brought our sins in His body up on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live for righteousness; by His wounds you were healed.John 19:30
Therefore when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, “It is finished!” And He bowed His head and gave up His spirit.

SCRIPTURE - HOW TO RECEIVE THIS GIFTMark 1:15
“The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.”Romans 10:9–10
that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved;
for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.Acts 16:31
“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.”

SCRIPTURE - FORGIVENESS, JUSTIFICATION, NEW LIFERomans 5:1
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.Romans 8:1
Therefore there is now no condemnation at all for those who are in Christ Jesus.Hebrews 10:17–18
“And their sins and their lawless deeds
I will no longer remember.”
Now where there is forgiveness of these things, an offering for sin is no longer required.2 Corinthians 5:21
He made Him who knew no sin to be sin in our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

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